Stop for just a moment and imagine this: what if you said all of your inner thoughts aloud all of the time? Chances are, you probably wouldn’t feel comfortable with that, especially the things you say about yourself to yourself.
It’s incredible how horrible we can be to ourselves. “You idiot.” “Dumb shit.” Those are just a couple of mine. It seems like I’ve said this before, but it’s important enough that I wanted to repeat it. When we have these conversations with ourselves, it is so important that we stop, recognize what’s going on, forgive ourselves, and get on with it.
I also work on reframing that statement. If I hit a bad shot on the golf course and say, “Dumb shit” to myself, I replace it with, “You’re the best” in my head. Of course, I don’t say that out loud, or I would get heckled. Sometimes I don’t even believe the reframed statement, but I say it to myself anyway.
“You’re the best” is one thing that has always stuck with me. It’s something that my dad said to me. I say these same words to my daughter every time that we talk. And she says, “You are too.” And that really helps me move back my negative inner voice.
Think about the conversations you have with yourself.
I’ll bet that there are things you say to yourself that you would never say to someone else. This includes breaking agreements.
We don’t break agreements with others the same way we do with ourselves. If I say, “I will work out,” I can easily change my mind and skip my workout, but I wouldn’t break a similar agreement I’d made with a friend or colleague. Even if I didn’t feel like staying true to that commitment with someone else, I would. But it’s so easy to do within ourselves.
This concept – being impeccable with your word – is highlighted in The Four Agreements by Don Miguel Ruiz, which you should read if you haven’t. It’s really a life changing book.
So, what I would encourage you to do is to be aware (like really aware) of your inner voice and the conversations that you are having with yourself. And remember that nice matters, especially when it comes to being nice to yourself.
Here’s a final thought I will leave you with – a quote from Marcus Aurelius: “The happiness of your life depends on the quality of your thoughts.”
Life is good.
Jeff
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